Remembering Michelle and Annie

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” - Matthew 5:4

Photo by César da Silva on Unsplash

Today, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day. The entire month of October is dedicated to pregnancy and infant loss awareness.

Many of my friends have experienced the tragic heartbreak of pregnancy loss, and one has been gracious to allow me to share part of her story.

I met my friend Diane through the Fiat Institute, and we immediately bonded over our shared experiences with infertility. Despite living states away, she has become one of my closest friends— one who supports and prays and processes with me through the good, bad, and ugly of this journey. We help each other grieve, and also to grow. It’s an “iron sharpens iron” friendship, and an incredible blessing in my life.

She and her husband had been navigating infertility for over five years and had reached a point of acceptance when they were shocked by a positive pregnancy test.

Oftentimes, pregnancy announcements evoke complex reactions from those of us experiencing infertility. I won’t speak for anyone else, but I always appreciate announcements through text message. The reason is because initial reactions are not always in my control- they aren’t thought out and worked through, and they aren’t always accurate to my true feelings. I can tell you confidently that my true feeling about any pregnancy announcement is always gratitude for the miracle of new life, but that’s not always what bubbles to the surface initially. Even I can’t predict how I’ll react until an announcement is made. (If you’re interested in more of a deep-dive about pregnancy announcements, let me know and I’ll gladly elaborate.)

When Diane sent me a picture of her positive pregnancy test, I shrieked and called her right away. It was one of the first times I had felt pure elation, without a shred of grief. She had been on the journey for so long— years longer than we had— and I couldn’t have been happier for her.

A few weeks later, she messaged me detailing the discovery that her pregnancy was ectopic. If you’re not familiar with ectopic pregnancy, it occurs when the baby implants within a fallopian tube instead of the uterus. As the baby continues to grow and develop, if there is no intervention, both baby and mother will die. The intervention, tragically, results in the loss of the child.

She and her husband named their baby Annie, after St. Anne.

I won’t speak to how this impacted them because it’s not my story to share (and we’ll hear more from Diane in a future post.) But what I will share is that around the time this happened, a documentary was released called “Radiating Joy: the Michelle Duppong Story.”¹ It showed locally at our theater for one night only, and each showing was packed.

I met Michelle² and her family once. She was a college friend of my ex-boyfriend, and we went to visit her at the Mayo clinic soon after she discovered that what they thought was an ovarian cyst was actually stage 4 colon cancer. Even then, at the beginning of her journey, she and her family made a profound impression. I felt like I knew them better than I did from that one encounter, and I closely followed her story as it unfolded through Caring Bridge updates. Per her family’s request, we were all praying for her to have a miraculous healing through the intercession of then-Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, hoping she could be one of the miracles he needed to be canonized as a Saint³. The strength of their faith and hope, even as it became clear Michelle would not survive, was inspiring. She died approximately one year after her diagnosis, on Christmas Day in 2015. She was 31 years old.

Watching a documentary about something I remember following in real-time was a bit surreal. Also, because I’m in a different place in life than I was 10 years ago, parts of her story resonated with me in new and different ways.

When Michelle was approaching one of her first major surgeries, she and her family requested prayers via Caring Bridge that she would be able to keep her reproductive organs, as she hoped to have a big family someday. I remember thinking, “Does she realize what she’s up against? Does she understand that that’s probably the least of her worries?!”

See what I did there? There were those “shoulds” that I have written about before. From my perspective back then, she “should” have been more worried about other things. Who cares about a little thing like fertility when one’s life is at stake?

Seeing the documentary now, hearing her sister Renee reflect on that time in Michelle’s life— on how Michelle suffered deeply over having lost her reproductive organs in that 12-hour surgery, how she grieved the loss of her fertility—I cried. I cried for the heartbreak she experienced: that purging of a soul-deep desire, the stripping of a dream so fundamentally etched into our beings as women, the grief of knowing she would never get to see the features of herself and her beloved reflected in the faces of their children… It’s a pain that is difficult to comprehend if you haven’t encountered it personally.

Selfishly, I am so grateful to God that Michelle shared her burden with her family and didn’t keep it completely to herself. In hearing that she grieved infertility, even when facing her own mortality, my own battered heart was soothed. I felt validated and seen amidst the grief and pain my husband and I have been carrying the past few years. If she could grieve her infertility in the midst of such dire circumstances, then it became easier for me to conquer my own “shoulds,” and to accept that this grief is real and valid.

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Later that night, as I reflected on that powerful documentary about the beautifully ordinary but holy life of a young woman from North Dakota, I turned to prayer journaling. As I journaled about the life and witness of Michelle Duppong, processing also my dear friend Diane’s recent loss, what flowed onto the page was a melding of these two stories:

I wonder if Michelle Duppong, who so deeply desired to be a mother during her earthly life— a desire God Himself gave her— is spending her heaven not only spiritually mothering us still here through her prayers and intercession, but also welcoming the infants and children lost too soon. I wonder if she’s up there welcoming little ones like Annie, mothering them along with our Blessed Mother Mary.

I can just imagine her greeting the little ones:

“Welcome home, Annie! We’re so happy to see you! Let me teach you how to pray for your mommy and daddy– let’s pray them to heaven so they can be with you and with Jesus forever!”

To all those who have lost children, I pray that God fills your heart with a peace that surpasses understanding, and comforts you with His presence amidst your mourning.

“Your babies mattered. They still matter. And so do you.” - Fruitful Hollow⁴

Servant of God, Michelle Duppong, pray for us!

1. This documentary is available to watch for free on EWTN OnDemand, and also on the SEEK Replay app. I highly recommend watching the whole thing!

2. To learn more about Michelle Duppong and her cause for canonization, check out michelleduppongcause.org. Her life is truly inspiring!

3. Catholics believe that we can ask the saints in heaven to pray for us, much like we ask our friends to pray for us here on earth. According to the US Council of Catholic Bishops (USCCB,) “All Christians are called to be saints. Saints are persons in heaven (officially canonized or not), who lived heroically virtuous lives, offered their life for others, or were martyred for the faith, and who are worthy of imitation.”

Pier Giorgio Frassati was officially canonized as a Saint on September 7, 2025, by Pope Leo XIV. For more information on the full process the Catholic Church uses to canonize someone as an official Saint (with a capital S,) check out the USCCB link above. Also, feel free to send me questions and I’ll do my best to either answer or find someone else who knows more than I do :)

4. Ministries such as the Fruitful Hollow, Springs in the Desert, and others have resources to support couples through infertility and pregnancy loss. The Fruitful Hollow has “Jude’s Garden,” which is an online memorial where people can submit names of babies like Annie, and others will see and can pray for the babies and their families. If you know of other helpful organizations, please feel free to share them in the comments.